Oh Man! Here it Comes!

I'm not sure why I put the crazy pictures on my blogs sometimes that don't really make sense with the topic at hand. I enjoy a nice random picture to spice it up a bit and make you wonder what's in my wacko head. But this one seemed to make sense to me with all of the chaos coming up. So this next week is gonna be killer! 2 cumulative finals in the hardest classes I have taken as of yet in my entire college career, the grand opening of the Main Street Theater on May 8th and with that planning a menu for the big day, menu planning for Mothers Day, scheduling my employees around the Cafe and Theater, studying my brains out in the "spare" time I will have with all of that and then all of the little details that go along with getting a 440 seat theater prepared for a huge influx of people that have been curious for over a year to see the place in all it's glory! Yikes! I was talking to my friend and we are both sick of school so we discussed it and I think that we are going to just move to Mexico and start a freak show with some of the crazy people that come into the cafe every once in awhile. We got T-Rex, the Determinator, Creepy 40-100 year old woman, the Caramel Macchiatti man, Grand Wizard I and II, Pink Slipper Woman, and Red Dog. Wouldn't you like to come see it? So if you aren't doing anything this Thursday, May 8th we are having an open house for the grand opening of the Main Street Theater from 6-9pm. Refreshments, a movie(Breakfast at Tiffany's), presentation with a slide show and lots of other suprises to pique your interest. Come on out! I'd love to see ya!

Florida.

So, um, yeah, I am in Florida right now. No joke. At this very moment I am sitting in the downstairs apartment of my Fathers newly aquired house. We have the windows all open and the fans going. Dad is sitting near me reading the local newpapers with his feet up just like any good old dad does in the evenings. I am sitting here in the other lazyboy chair with my feet up too. I am feeling pretty cold right now, mostly from the sunburn that I got while on the beach today for 2 hours. I swear I put on suntan lotion; that stuff just doesn't work for me and now I am freezing from all of the heat radiating from me. No wonder Florida is so hot. All the heat that people generate from sunburns here, its gotta be redunkulous. I kinda really like the feeling that a good hard sunburn gives you. A little headache, some tight skin on your face when you smile, all that good stuff. We are down here to clean up the house and to get together documents and stuff that my Dad needs to go through to clear up all the legal mumbo jumbo since his brother died. We flew down on Saturday morning and we are flying back on Tuesday. I am really enjoying the feeling of being down here. I enjoy alone time and this is also giving me some time to study and get schoolwork done without all the interruptions that life gives me in Ohio. So if you don't see me for a few days, well um yeah, thats cause I'm in FLORIDA!

Well that happened.

Thanks to everyone who has had me in their thoughts and prayers these past few weeks. I am really doing well. This past week I was on spring break and also able to go to Hocking Hills with some of my closest and bestest friends for a few days. We all had a great time, I enjoyed the relaxation of it all and that really was what I needed the most. I didn't go into it with any expectations other than to get alot of naps. Well I did that, mos def, I think I had 7 naps in the sunday evening thru wednesday morning that we were there. Good times I tell you! The best parts of the trip were all the good eatings. Oh man, we always eat so good, I think that I probably gained 5 lbs while there, blue stilton hamburgers, homemade pizza with dough kneaded by my two hands, & amazing omelets for breakfast. YUM! I got to slide down a set of totally iced up stairs in Old Mans Cave and scrape up my hands trying to slow myself down. I took off my shirt and layed out on the warm rocks at the rim of Upper Falls, a little awkward for everyone, but I think we all know they liked it;) It was all memorable and, as always, amazing to go yet another year and enjoy the beauty and slow pace of it all.

Don't read this, it's just my rantings...

So I have a few minutes to sit and blog after about a month of nonstop action. Actually I really need to just sit and write, I really don't have the time right now but this nagging feeling that I haven't put anything down in writing won't pass until I write something down. In my head if I can check off of the list just one more thing it brings down the stress meter. Know what I mean? So anyways, things are difficult in my life right now. I'm not trying to get any sympathy or "OH, I feel so bad for Laura" quotes, I have a great husband and awesome friends & family who have been so supportive of me thru everything going on that I couldn't ask for more. But there is only so much others can do for you, you have to figure the rest out on your own. Thru all that I am still pretty messed up. I told Sam that I am beyond the point of crying, and I never actually got to that part, I just kinda skipped it. Life is hard right now. I've wondered where the boiling point is and I think that I might just hit it soon if I don't change something. I'm not sleeping enough or eating enough. I'm not hungry, I actually feel sick to my stomach most of the time. I failed an exam in Pharmacology last week, I was sick and I missed a huge day of classes and I need to make them up. I don't care about getting motivated to even study when I should be 100% of the time when I am not at work. I do study but it doesn't sink in. I talked to my nursing professor and she said that she is scared for me, she can tell that I am not "focusing" as she put it. She could tell that my mind is racing in 100 different directions at the same time and I can't pin down any thoughts for long to really grasp them. I take pride in my multi-tasking abilities and I hate my deficient delegating skills cause they really suck. I am working on things getting easier at work, but I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel at school. I love the challenge still of keeping up this crazy schedule. I have had only 1 day off in more than a month. Spring break is next week and I need it, we are going to Hocking Hills. My Uncle Tom decided to kill himself on March 6th, which was his birthday, he thought that he took care of everything, but all he left was a big mess for my Dad to have to clean up and all I can think of is how I want to be there for Dad right now and help him thru this. Sorry, brain overload is a real killer. No one should ever try it.

Wow!

Just wanted to let all my loyal fans know that I am still out there, alive and kicking! The Encore Cafe has been going really great. We have a steady traffic coming in every day. I see new faces and already some regulars who come in and it has been a joy to come to work everyday. I truly do enjoy myself, even though my feet and brain hurts at the end of the days I've been pulling. I had 65 hours in the first week and we were only open Thursday thru Saturday. I am still managing to get between 4-5 hours of sleep each night to at least keep me moving. "People think I'm crazy, but I'm not the only one..." (-John Lennon) Thanks to those who have been keeping me in their prayers and who have suprised me by their visits to the Cafe to refresh me and remind me why I am doing all this! Talk to you later!

Sofa-King Tired!

Well I don't know if that title is very kosher but I put it there anyways, if you don't get it then don't think too much about it. OK? The ones that know the inside scoop on it may still think that I went a little over-board. But HEY, that's what you get when you are so tired and your thoughts aren't running too straight. Gosh, I had to respell "straight" like 8 times there. Yikes! Anywho...I really hate this time of year when it is just Sofa-King Cold and Sofa-King Dark all the time that you don't get motivated to do anything. I could really go for a day in Florida on the beach right now to soak up some sun and warm my bones just for a little while. Maybe a little nap and wake up looking like a burnt lobster. I'd take that over the blah that we have here in Ohio. I could go for some sun and heat right now and I am sure that I would have not nearly as big of a difficulty with everything as I do now. The 8am to 10pm day that I had at the cafe didn't help anything either. But that was so exciting to actually start training with real employees who are all nervous & excited at the same time.

Stuff

Well I have to start writing a journal for one of my nursing classes this semester to help us get thru our thought cycles and to let stuff out that we wouldn't normally think about. I always have enjoyed journaling even if it takes up so much time. But it is true that you think about & retrospect over what has happened to you in days past. I think that is why I enjoy writing here too. I think of stuff that I wouldn't normally think about until my fingers start typing away at the keyboard. I never have a "draft" of words to bring with me, instead I just start writing as I go and it doesn't always come out clean and tidy but that's how my normal brain works anyways. I like to go back & read about how I was doing at a particular time or how I dealt with something in the past. It's all good. I think that I wrote more about the cafe than I did about this upcoming semester at college in my first journal entry. One thing pretty awesome, that I am so glad about, is that I switched my calendar year of the nursing program this past Friday & that means that I only have to finish 123 credit hours in the nursing program instead of the 129 that I thought that I would have to take. That's 2 less classes that I have to go thru & the best part is that I dropped my dreaded Physiological Chemistry class this semester & picked up another easier online class because P. Chem. is no longer required to take at all in the new calendar year that I switched to. HoOrAy! A-woo-hoo!

Morning Rituals

I am sitting in the upstairs room of my parents-in-laws house listening to Sam working on putting new wheels on his fathers wheelchair, Sams mom is making some loud comments so that everyone can hear her voice just so it's heard. Sam is clanking away at taking the wheels off to put on the new ones. His Dad is doing his morning rituals while singing a gentle hymn and I am thinking of the usual, everyday things that families do to make their life normal. I remember when I was little that I would bumble out of bed in my usual pj's of a t-shirt and underoo's and go and sit under a blanket on the couch and watch some tv to get my day going. Maybe a little cereal or pancakes to really start the creative juices flowing as my brother and I postponed our homeschooling day as much as we could. We would get on the old Apple IIE and maybe play a little Oregon Trail or get out the Nintendo and finish up some Super Mario Bros II or go outside and spend the day in the woods pretending about something really great. The part that I don't even think I ever thought about back then, the part that I took for granted, is the air of taking it easy. Yes, we had stuff to do, but it never seemed to be overwhelming. We could take it easy and feel no pressure in life for all of the stuff that needed done. I love remembering that at one time in my life I felt like that. I so enjoy those rare times that show up when I feel that way all over again. I think that is why when those times do show up I enjoy them so much more, because I realize that I don't always have that time in the morning to sit at the couch in my pj's and watch some tv. I don't get the pancakes in the morning anymore like mom used to make them. I don't go outside or play some video games to jump start the morning anymore. That's ok with me, I would just really like to have a morning ritual that gave me at least a few moments of ease that I could get ready and enjoy the day that I have set before me.

Back to it

Well things are back to normal around here. All our great friends that were home are all back to their usual routines in their parts of the world. I am interviewing and hiring employees for the cafe next week and I start back up at Kent on Monday. So I have to get back into the groove of working full time and going to school full time and get a good blend of the two without driving myself, my husband, or my friends crazy. That's all for now...

Good Times

As much as the worries surrounding the uncertainty of a looming job future for my husband and the winter blahs that have hit Ohio pretty hard I still think that I am having one of the best times of my life right now. It's a great time mostly in part because everyone is home right now! Andrew and Lyndsay are home from Minneapolis, Evan is home from Bahrain, Kyle is home from Pittsburgh...we are just basking in the good times until everyone has to get back to the things that drive their everyday lives. I am in the cafe right now sitting at the new stainless steel tables waiting for applications and I'm thinking about when I left the house this morning. Sam was outside diligently preparing the wood supply for our house so that we can stay warm this winter. Evan came out to help and all I could hear was their dueling chainsaws outside. I am so glad that Sam has someone out there to help take the burden off of him in cutting and stacking all that wood and I am even more glad that Evan is actually in my front yard after being away for a whole year and he's sharing his time with my family. Right before I left to go to the cafe Evan was cutting down a big branch that is eventually going to come off the big sugar maple that we have in our front yard. He had to lift the chainsaw over his head to reach the branch and I watched the sawdust cover his whole head as it coated his bright red hair and in his eyes and all over his face. He put down the chainsaw to wipe out his eyes and the whole time he was smiling and laughing. I was so glad to see that! It's my hope that for all of us that are taking a little hiatus from the normal daily things that we do that it would be filled with fun and love and that it would re energize each and every one to bring us back to what we normally do with a new vision and energy and bring us all back together safely the next time around.

Drummers pt. 3

Here are the rest of the drummers in my life. Hope you enjoy!

Chris-My Brother. He’s the 6’6” guy that seems so imposing that it only makes sense that he should play the drums. When he stands up it just scares people so it is good that he sits for this hobby. Chris and I are only 18 months apart in age and we have always had a really cool relationship. I hardly ever remember fighting, we have a lot in common and we have this weird connection that when I have a bad day I always find out that he had similar circumstances in his own. I don’t know if drums were his first choice of musical instrument. I think that he was kinda thrown into them. I think that the guitar is his first love, but I do know that he loves playing the drums. It seemed like overnight he knew how to play them and he was instantly good at it. Like most things in his life, skills come easily to him. Once he knows something he doesn’t forget it either. The way that he plays the drums sometimes cracks me up though. Sam and I used to make fun of the way that he would hold the drumsticks. Like he was ready to beat down and kill a man. You get the picture hopefully or maybe not. We don’t want Chris to look like a murderer or anything; nasty rumors get spread that way. He is totally a straightforward drummer, he is right on with his timing and he plays exactly what he needs to with no extra flourish and it always sounds good. I know that he had no formal training, I am pretty sure he is self taught with a little advice from a couple other drummers at the beginning. I really enjoy watching him play the drums, it is impressive and it makes me happy.

Brad. My Bud.-Well this guy has the skills to pay the bills! Brad has real talent when it comes to the drums (I'm not saying the others don’t)! I became friends with Brad about 5 years ago when Sam and I were youth leaders at the church he went to, now we are totally awesome friends and Sam and I have become really close to Brad and I consider him one of my best friends. I was able to be a part of the worship team at the church he played at. I’ve also seen him play at concerts with a couple bands he was a part of. Always impressive, it is amazing how quickly he can pick up a song too. I’ve seen songs thrown at him that he’s never heard and he picks up on them the first time playing. If you can believe it he actually looks like he is playing the drums about 90% of each day while he is awake. He drums on anything around and his feet are always moving. To be sure, if a song is playing he is beating his hands on his head or legs, it’s always makes me smile. I love to see him play the drums, he has a really awesome drum set that is this gorgeous light blue swirled color, he is very skilled at the drums and he does so many cool variations and he gets the arms flying and makes a cool show of it with no holds barred. Pretty sweet stuff.

Mike. My Incognito Friend.- Mike is another one of those extremely talented individuals that also plays the drums. I met Mike about 12 years ago when he was dating Sam’s neighbor Ginny and I was dating Sam. Mike and I are like 2 peas in a pod. He’s just a little wacky and so am I, so I really understand his mindset and the crazy stuff he does. As long as I have known him there has always been a drum kit set up in his house. He often fools around playing it and has taught himself how to play too. He really likes to jam and get together to play live music with others, it totally gives him nourishment and revives him. Mike is good at everything he does; I know the drums are no exception.
Kevin. My Old Friend.-Kevin is this wiry guy that is bred to play the drums. He is so fast paced and always on the go, it would be a shame if this world didn’t have Kevin playing the drums. We first met in high school and we don’t get to see each other as much as either of us would like anymore, maybe once or twice a year, but when we do it is always awesome to be hanging out again. I’ve seen him play at church and at concerts from high school to just a few years back and he sincerely loves the drums. They let out his emotion and high energy and they fit so well into his life. He sometimes needs to vent and I think that drums are his way of expressing who he is; they are just a natural extension of him.

Drummers pt. 2...Sam

Of course the first drummer that I would write about would be my amazing husband Sam! I really have only heard Sam play the drums live one time. We were dating & he was making the decision to get out of playing the drums & he decided to take his set down and sell them. I had always wanted to hear him play & I told him that occasionally, kinda hinting that he should for me. He talked about how much he loved to play them & I wanted to see that part of his life at least once. Well one day he calls me over to his house & he brings me out to the garage & he says that he’s been practicing for hours on this song, its one of his favorite ones to play the drums to & he is going to play one last song for me before he retires the old drum set. I was & still am amazingly impressed that he would go thru all the trouble of doing this for me! I don’t even remember what song it was. He turned on the old cassette tape & blasted away at this baby! Something metal and loud, but it wasn’t the song that I remember. It was Sam playing something that he loved & put time and skill into, something that he wanted to share with me one last time. That moment made me love him so much for sharing a part of his life that was over, but he wanted to give me a glimpse of all the joy he had in it before he was done. To this day he has never played the drums again to a complete song that I know of. Yeah, he may fool around & hit a symbol or snare here and there (that rhymed). But everyone that asks him if he still plays drums he will say that he doesn’t do that anymore & that he has no interest in starting again. I’m not sure why he doesn’t want to give it a try, he actually has most of a drum set in our bedroom that is not set up. I don’t know if it will ever be again, or if it does when he will even sit behind it and play it. I may never see it again, but maybe he will sneak one of the old metal songs when no one is around & get that same exhilaration all over for something that he loves so much!

Drummers

I was just thinking about it the other day and I came to the conclusion that the most important and influential men in my life are drummers. They may deny that they are "true" drummers, but at heart they will always have that love for the instrument in them. I’m not sure why it is so important that they all play drums, or why in this weird way I have been linked to them. I love the intertwining of interests that they all share and I am so glad to be a part of it. I just thought that I would share my heart and the importance these men play in my life and how much they mean to me.
I love the drums, and I always have. The thing that draws my attention in music is the singing first and then always the drums. I wish that I could play the drums, but I know that I would get my feet and my hands all tangled in some non-coherent sounds and I would never be able to make any sort of effort of decent noise out of them. They scare me to play. I have sat behind a drum set and they are daunting. I can sit in front of a piano or other instrument and I have no problem making a fool of myself playing it. But those darn drums frankly just scare the crap out of me. I think that it is the fact that whether you are good or not they are going to always be LOUD. If you do some really sour things on it, everyone will hear you, I guess that I don’t like people to hear every little mistake that I make. That’s just my nature. I wish that it didn’t matter to me but it does.
I thought that I would share these drummer men in my life because, like I said before, they play huge roles in my life and I love the fact that they have something so awesome in common, yet they are so different in each of their styles. So for now I will stop and gather my thoughts....check back soon!

Almost There

I only have 3 more weeks till this semester of college is done. Two big exams this week, one on Tuesday and one on Wednesday, three papers due on Wednesday and the big final for giving a full physical exam next week. Honestly I don't have much stress over finishing this semester, I've come to the realization that at this point I know it will all get done one way or another. There is no use worrying over something that you know is on it's way the entire semester.
What I hate is that I have a cold. I really hate colds! The nursing coordinator told us that us nursing students would get really worn down from all the stress and activities and all that crap, and that we would get sick towards the end of the semester. Well unfortunately my body got the worst of me and I now have the sniffles and a chest full of yuck that won't come out when I cough. I sound like a coal miner who has the black lung when I laugh. I totally feel fine mentally, but apparently my body was telling itself a different story without my knowledge. I hate that my body felt some sort of weardown and stress and that the silly nursing coordinator was right. That sucks! Anywho...nothing more to say, just thought I'd rant a little. Now back to studying...

Lost and Found!

About 2 weeks ago I lost my flash drive for transferring stuff between all the computers I use. I use the thing ALL the time between Kent's computer labs, my laptop, work information and my computer at home. I store everything on there and I go between all of the aforementioned computers and load or store stuff on them with this amazing invention. I totally felt naked when I lost it. It nagged on my mind. You know when you go without something that you have with you all the time, a wedding ring, cell phone, glasses, wallet, and you just feel out of place the entire time that you are away from it? Well that's how I felt. I looked everywhere that I last remembered seeing it. Under the couch, in the computer lab, in the laptop storage bag, pants, coats, my purse, etc.-you get the drift. I really hate that feeling and I knew that there was some pretty important information on there, I just hoped that someone wasn't going to steal my identity or worse, all of the recipe's for the new cafe!(Of course all of that information is on my computer too). I just thought that I had lost it and I was finally getting resigned to it being lost and having to find out another way to work around it. Well, we went to Cleveland on Saturday for the big Ohio State vs. Michigan game and we went out to eat after with some friends. When we were saying goodbye to our friends after dinner I remembered that I had some pictures for them that we took awhile ago and it was in my laptop bag. I reached into the side pocket and the inside light of the car was shining in to the pocket and low and behold there was my lost flash drive! I think that they may have thought I lost my mind when I saw it because I started yelling and dancing around like a real idiot but now I feel whole again.

Warming Foods

The Encore Cafe is coming along fast now, I met with one of the main food brokers that we will be working with to get in deliveries today. We talked for 2 hours about different recipes and items that I want to use that will give us the best cost and quality for what we will be making. Thats pretty much where the progression of things are now; finishing touches. The equipment is in now, the main stuff at least. Ovens, display cases, sinks and refrigerators are starting to make the cafe look like a real one! I can see it all coming together!
What I really am looking forward to is finally starting to make recipes. I have been "off" of work for 3 months now; mainly what I am doing is all of the leg work to get the cafe started, I miss physically working with food. I find that I extremely miss getting my hands and apron dirty while making recipes. I love that I get to develop recipes and work the whole start to finish end of getting the cafe set up, but I really got into this new job for the prospects of doing something new, exciting and challenging at the same time. I was bored with my old job, even though I loved it, but I wanted to have more freedom, so when this venture fell into my lap I gladly took it.
So when this thang finally opens up I am going to be there constantly, you might see me running around with flour all over me, a huge honkin' coffee buzz and spoons in hand but I will have a smile on my face!

Playing in the Dam Water

I know many of you read Sams posts that read mine as well. You will know that Sam has a new interest in his life and that is researching the Sandy-Beaver Canal and finding the old locks that used to traverse Beaver Creek here in Ohio. I love the great outdoors and I happily will go hiking, camping, or just outside anytime that I don't have something else to do. So to go out exploring and look at some old locks and dams is pretty fun, and I find it interesting too. We have gotten to go hiking quite alot lately and I have been lovin it! Fall is one of my favorite seasons; the temperature is perfect, the leaves are so beautiful, the air smells amazing, we get to harvest all of the veggies from our garden that I have been waiting so long for...I could keep going on and on. We all know that one of the best parts of hiking and being outside is getting some great shots of the landscapes and other great things to remember the treks by. Sam found some wildlife playing in the water in this once in a lifetime shot!

Weird stuff is going on!

So...Sam, Brad and I were watching a scary movie last night that wasn't all that scary. It was called Silent Hill and it's supposed to be based on some video game that probably should have just stayed a video game. It was interesting to watch, but at the end of the movie we all had like 10 million questions about different parts of the movie. Do you ever get that way about a movie where it didn't make a bit of sense and you wonder where they came up with half of the plot? I think that some of my dreams that I have would make a 10 times better movie than this one. By the way I have some really nightmarish dreams so I think that I could write a really good movie plot if I would only write down my dreams. It seems like I am always getting chased by a person or multiple people trying to kill me or I am in some twisted plot that is just totally screwed up. Anywho... I don't know where I was going with that except to say that after the movie I got a restricted phone call on my cell that we thought maybe was my cousin in the Navy in Bahrain. Well, it wasn't. It was a prank call with some guy whispering the question "what color panties are you wearing?" Yikes! I guess that it was a really off night and now I am confused and embarassed. Remind me never to answer my phone again when it is restricted. If they leave a message that's good, then I can call them back and ask them what color panties they are wearing!

What am I doing?

I'm not sure exactly what I am supposed to be doing yet for this class I am taking this semester. I am in the 9th week already, with only 7 more to go and I am totally lost in this class. I'm not the only one either, even though I think that I am a little more lost than the others. First of all I lost my 100+ dollar book on the 3rd week that the class requires and I haven't found it yet. Stupid Laura! I don't have the money to go buy another one, plus I feel stupid that I lost it in the first place that I don't think I deserve another. I am not even really supposed to be taking the class either given my standing in college. It's considered a Junior level class and I am still a sophmore until the end of this semester when I will be in Junior standing. We are supposed to make this big project that goes on the entire semester and I'm not sure what a Methodological plan for researching society is supposed to even look like because he hasn't even given us any information on what he wants from us. I meet him in 30 minutes and I don't even know what to ask him because he hasn't given me any direction, plus I don't have my book(Duh!), and I'm only a lowly sophmore in a class with a bunch of smarty pants Juniors. I probably should have dropped this class if it weren't for the amazing bull----ing that I can pull off to make a paper work after I find all of the information online from another instructor that gives good details in how to do things in this type of class. Then I find out that I have one of the best grades in the class and I figure that I should probably take all classes that I don't have a clue as to what I am doing. Makes sense to me.

50 posts on the wall

So, this is my 50th entry into this here blogger I call my home! I don't really have anything super thought provoking to put on here. I don't really ever have too much wisdom to write on these pages. Actually what I was going to write about is simplicity. These days I feel like I have so much going on that I can never really feel too much peace. I'm running here and there...I have all these things to do that even when I am sitting down I can't get my mind to calm down. I sit and all I can think about is the paper I have due next week or the menu that needs planned for the cafe, the person I need to call, or the thank you letter that I need to write, you know all that stuff.

I thought that when I got older I would have a better handle on keeping things simple. I thought that I would be able to order out everything that I needed to do with an iron fist. I thought that once I finished one project then I would be done with it. I realize now that there will always be another project, another goal, another finish line to always reach for. I've found that I keep taking on more things because I like to be busy and I always enjoy a good challenge. I hate being bored and I love to have 10 million things going on at once to keep me happy and excited about life.

But then there are the times when I just want to get rid of everything. Sell all the junk, get rid of the 50 t-shirts that I have in my dresser, throw away the cats, sell the house and get into a smaller one, stop all the little projects I have going and just live a simple, focused life with little worry or distraction. The things I would do each day would be clear to me and the routine that I pick up would pretty much be the same. I would stick with the things that I know work for me and I would be calm.

I'm not sure which one I like better, I guess that I have times of both and thats what I enjoy the most, I don't want to write out my life and know each step of the way, so I will take what I have and enjoy it as much as possible. Happy 50th reading!