Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Sleepy-time and Pumpkins

I'm so tired...all I want to do is sleep right now. I can't wait for normal days to catch up with me and make me feel more alive again. I push myself to do things each day, but most of the time my motivation and concentration is so lacking that I can't push through that invisible barrier that holds me back. In my noggin I plan on all of these things I want, or should be doing, but less than half of them pan out. I go for the easy route lately, and think to myself that I will worry about the big things soon enough.
Doctor says that we will check to see how my thyroid levels are in a week or two when enough thyroid meds are in my body at optimum capacity. Until then, I know that they are not near enough, and that I definitely will need to up the dosage that I was getting before surgery. My speech pathologist says that I have one vocal cord that is paralyzed, and we will see if it livens up within a year of surgery. If not then it will probably not at all. I seem to remember her saying that it was working just a little after my surgery at some point when she checked it, but now it's not. I wake myself up making funny noises at night. It's as if my vocal cords rub together and make vocal noises. Kind of silly, and it makes me laugh, although I still can't do that well either.
On a different note...I have come to embrace the fall season and anything pumpkin. Yes, I said it, pumpkin. I found pumpkin pie pop tarts, pumpkin butter at Trader Joes, pumpkin pie yogurt, pumpkin flavored coffee, pumpkin bagels with pumpkin cream cheese spread, pumpkin butterscotch cake. Really anything pumpkiny and spicy is yummy to my tastebuds right now, since most all foods taste weaker and not as sweet or salty to my senses because of all this medical stuff. Most foods have a slimy consistency, and they taste buttery to me. It is very odd. I mostly eat bland foods...except for pumpkiny goodness. I wish it was fall and pumpkin season all year long!