Time is a flying!

Just a quick "Hello" to the few that occasionally get on my blog to see if I have written anything for awhile. This semester is going super fast, I am already into my 11th week with just enough more weeks to count on one hand. I am in a very time and mind consuming class this second half of the semeste; critical care. I have been enjoying this class and it seems to really help me put everything together that I have learned thus far. There is no room for mistakes in the medical field, but I have to be at the top of my game especially with patients in critical condition.

Other than that I had a great weekend with Sam. We went out to visit the Fort Wayne boys and hang out for the weekend. It was relaxing and it helped me recharge. Plus the fact that the weekend was gorgeous and we got lots of fresh air helped it all too. My arm is a bit sore from all of the football, raquetball, and 5 gallon empty water container throwing that happened over the weekend from being with 3 guys and no girls but myself around. It was a good time.

Hope everyone is doing well! Talk to you again in a month or two!

Jack not name! Jack job!

Does anyone remember the muppet movie where fozzie and kermit hit the road and they stop at a car dealership to buy a car and that huge beast of a muppet starts moving cars around with his hands? "Jack not name! Jack job!" Yeah, I was thinking about that today, no real significance, i just want to watch that movie again. Maybe feel like a kid excited to just watch muppets having fun.

Anyways, schools back in session as some of you read from Sams blog. My sanity will be tested again as usual this semester. I will get to finish my practicum this next 8 weeks with preceptor for 120 hours at the new St. E's hospital in Boardman so I am looking forward to that. I am not looking forward to the 3 hour seminar I have to give in November on accountability and peer review though. I don't know what to fill 3 hours of a seminar about accountability on. Any ideas on discussion, games, etc to fill that time up? Haha, Im studying up on it now, it should all work out just fine I'm sure. I finished my portfolio and resume this week before I get into the big clinical days and stressfilled study time. That is a big weight off of my shoulders. Its not hard work, just time consuming when I don't really have that time to give. I'm excited that this is my last year of school, it is going to go so fast and I am looking forward to all of the prospective jobs out there that I will be able to look at and decide on. Exciting and scary!

Welp, thats about it for me right now, more later as the semester goes on, hopefully I can get on this blog more than every 2 months:) Love and Peace to all!

Time Away

So, I have been away from the blogger scene for awhile now. As the end of the college semester reared its ugly head I resigned to focusing on it. I also started a new job that has been quite the challenge to get used to; with its crazy hours and physical stress on my body. I have found new muscles and aches and pains in my body that I never had before. I have found that I have new smells to experience that I don't quite enjoy so much. I have so many funny stories of things that happen at night with the resident that I take care of. The lady that told me that she was going to call the police on me because I was taking her out of the building even though I was only taking her down the hall. The man that told me I was the sherriff and putting him in jail. The woman who got picked up in a red firebird on Easter morning by her pimp boyfriend in his canary yellow suit and white patent leather shoes. The stories keep happening and I keep laughing. Thats all I really need in this crazy time of readjustment. A good laugh.

But now that summmer is here it is time to wind up again; to enjoy the time that I have to myself and with my family and friends. I was in a wedding with one of my best friends in the world a few weeks ago, to see her and her new husbands excitement and love was such an encouragement and a blessing. I get to enjoy seeing my friends more who live only 4 hours away, but that distance is longer than it ever should be. I get to be with my husband more and go hiking and enjoy uninterrupted time and focus on him and our house. I get to go traveling, go to concerts, read some great books, make some tasty meals, all of this I am just utterly excited to do. No stress and no time management with school involved. All free of burden. I love summer!

Don't read this, it's just my rantings...

So I have a few minutes to sit and blog after about a month of nonstop action. Actually I really need to just sit and write, I really don't have the time right now but this nagging feeling that I haven't put anything down in writing won't pass until I write something down. In my head if I can check off of the list just one more thing it brings down the stress meter. Know what I mean? So anyways, things are difficult in my life right now. I'm not trying to get any sympathy or "OH, I feel so bad for Laura" quotes, I have a great husband and awesome friends & family who have been so supportive of me thru everything going on that I couldn't ask for more. But there is only so much others can do for you, you have to figure the rest out on your own. Thru all that I am still pretty messed up. I told Sam that I am beyond the point of crying, and I never actually got to that part, I just kinda skipped it. Life is hard right now. I've wondered where the boiling point is and I think that I might just hit it soon if I don't change something. I'm not sleeping enough or eating enough. I'm not hungry, I actually feel sick to my stomach most of the time. I failed an exam in Pharmacology last week, I was sick and I missed a huge day of classes and I need to make them up. I don't care about getting motivated to even study when I should be 100% of the time when I am not at work. I do study but it doesn't sink in. I talked to my nursing professor and she said that she is scared for me, she can tell that I am not "focusing" as she put it. She could tell that my mind is racing in 100 different directions at the same time and I can't pin down any thoughts for long to really grasp them. I take pride in my multi-tasking abilities and I hate my deficient delegating skills cause they really suck. I am working on things getting easier at work, but I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel at school. I love the challenge still of keeping up this crazy schedule. I have had only 1 day off in more than a month. Spring break is next week and I need it, we are going to Hocking Hills. My Uncle Tom decided to kill himself on March 6th, which was his birthday, he thought that he took care of everything, but all he left was a big mess for my Dad to have to clean up and all I can think of is how I want to be there for Dad right now and help him thru this. Sorry, brain overload is a real killer. No one should ever try it.

Stuff

Well I have to start writing a journal for one of my nursing classes this semester to help us get thru our thought cycles and to let stuff out that we wouldn't normally think about. I always have enjoyed journaling even if it takes up so much time. But it is true that you think about & retrospect over what has happened to you in days past. I think that is why I enjoy writing here too. I think of stuff that I wouldn't normally think about until my fingers start typing away at the keyboard. I never have a "draft" of words to bring with me, instead I just start writing as I go and it doesn't always come out clean and tidy but that's how my normal brain works anyways. I like to go back & read about how I was doing at a particular time or how I dealt with something in the past. It's all good. I think that I wrote more about the cafe than I did about this upcoming semester at college in my first journal entry. One thing pretty awesome, that I am so glad about, is that I switched my calendar year of the nursing program this past Friday & that means that I only have to finish 123 credit hours in the nursing program instead of the 129 that I thought that I would have to take. That's 2 less classes that I have to go thru & the best part is that I dropped my dreaded Physiological Chemistry class this semester & picked up another easier online class because P. Chem. is no longer required to take at all in the new calendar year that I switched to. HoOrAy! A-woo-hoo!

Almost There

I only have 3 more weeks till this semester of college is done. Two big exams this week, one on Tuesday and one on Wednesday, three papers due on Wednesday and the big final for giving a full physical exam next week. Honestly I don't have much stress over finishing this semester, I've come to the realization that at this point I know it will all get done one way or another. There is no use worrying over something that you know is on it's way the entire semester.
What I hate is that I have a cold. I really hate colds! The nursing coordinator told us that us nursing students would get really worn down from all the stress and activities and all that crap, and that we would get sick towards the end of the semester. Well unfortunately my body got the worst of me and I now have the sniffles and a chest full of yuck that won't come out when I cough. I sound like a coal miner who has the black lung when I laugh. I totally feel fine mentally, but apparently my body was telling itself a different story without my knowledge. I hate that my body felt some sort of weardown and stress and that the silly nursing coordinator was right. That sucks! Anywho...nothing more to say, just thought I'd rant a little. Now back to studying...

Lost and Found!

About 2 weeks ago I lost my flash drive for transferring stuff between all the computers I use. I use the thing ALL the time between Kent's computer labs, my laptop, work information and my computer at home. I store everything on there and I go between all of the aforementioned computers and load or store stuff on them with this amazing invention. I totally felt naked when I lost it. It nagged on my mind. You know when you go without something that you have with you all the time, a wedding ring, cell phone, glasses, wallet, and you just feel out of place the entire time that you are away from it? Well that's how I felt. I looked everywhere that I last remembered seeing it. Under the couch, in the computer lab, in the laptop storage bag, pants, coats, my purse, etc.-you get the drift. I really hate that feeling and I knew that there was some pretty important information on there, I just hoped that someone wasn't going to steal my identity or worse, all of the recipe's for the new cafe!(Of course all of that information is on my computer too). I just thought that I had lost it and I was finally getting resigned to it being lost and having to find out another way to work around it. Well, we went to Cleveland on Saturday for the big Ohio State vs. Michigan game and we went out to eat after with some friends. When we were saying goodbye to our friends after dinner I remembered that I had some pictures for them that we took awhile ago and it was in my laptop bag. I reached into the side pocket and the inside light of the car was shining in to the pocket and low and behold there was my lost flash drive! I think that they may have thought I lost my mind when I saw it because I started yelling and dancing around like a real idiot but now I feel whole again.

What am I doing?

I'm not sure exactly what I am supposed to be doing yet for this class I am taking this semester. I am in the 9th week already, with only 7 more to go and I am totally lost in this class. I'm not the only one either, even though I think that I am a little more lost than the others. First of all I lost my 100+ dollar book on the 3rd week that the class requires and I haven't found it yet. Stupid Laura! I don't have the money to go buy another one, plus I feel stupid that I lost it in the first place that I don't think I deserve another. I am not even really supposed to be taking the class either given my standing in college. It's considered a Junior level class and I am still a sophmore until the end of this semester when I will be in Junior standing. We are supposed to make this big project that goes on the entire semester and I'm not sure what a Methodological plan for researching society is supposed to even look like because he hasn't even given us any information on what he wants from us. I meet him in 30 minutes and I don't even know what to ask him because he hasn't given me any direction, plus I don't have my book(Duh!), and I'm only a lowly sophmore in a class with a bunch of smarty pants Juniors. I probably should have dropped this class if it weren't for the amazing bull----ing that I can pull off to make a paper work after I find all of the information online from another instructor that gives good details in how to do things in this type of class. Then I find out that I have one of the best grades in the class and I figure that I should probably take all classes that I don't have a clue as to what I am doing. Makes sense to me.

Back To It

So...I am back in college for the 5th semester of my college existence. I was really worn out from the past semester, I just felt unmotivated to study and at the end of everything I felt poor about how much I didn't get done. Needless to say my grades showed that. Even through all of that I still managed to get my letter of acceptance into the nursing program that I am now in, starting this semester. During the summer I had to get a million shots, accredited in CPR, physical exam, fingerprinted for a background check, endless trips to the post office and hospital, etc. all within 1 1/2 months.

I thought that taking the summer off would get me motivated for the next phase of my schooling. I am so excited to one day be a nurse, I have wanted to be one ever since I could remember. I just want to be there doing it. But I have found that I am having a really hard time getting my head into this whole school thing. I feel as if I am not good enough to be going through this right now. I need to concentrate and feel strongly about the work I am doing, but it all feels kinda boring and mundane. Does everyone get this bored with the routine of school at this point in the game? Or do I just need to crack down and get into it and excited about it again? I only say this to vent, you won't see me quitting or anything crazy, in fact you will probably see me studying and in the books more now than ever to get back the excitement that I once felt for this whole trip into nursing.