Workaholic

I've been labeled a "work-a-holic" more than once. Recently I stuck around work just because I felt like things needed done on our anniversary party evening, even though we had perfectly capable people there to do everything. My own employees tell me to sit down and relax all the time. They tell me to let them do everything. How many people actually do so much that others tell them to stop working? Yikes! What was even worse is that I didn't come home and spend it with the man I love even though I was going to be working over 12 hours each day for the next two days. This put us into an argument where he said that I didn't want to spend time with him...blah, blah, blah. Of course I didn't even think about it that way. It was in no way a means to get away from him, or anything else. I was just involved in my work more than I should have. I should have considered the fact that I was going to fit in 38 hours of work into 3 days and all I would be doing when I got home each night was shower and fall asleep. Stupid me.

I tend to give too much, I stay later than I should. I stick around to finish things even thought they could be taken care of the next day, or by someone else. I have the silly mentality that I can do it faster and better than someone else. I micro-manage things. I go overboard, really. I need to learn how to stop doing that. It affects my relationships, it affects my stress levels. It overall, is not a good thing. But yet I don't know how to not do it. It is so deeply ingrained into me to constantly be "managing" things around me. I take it home with me sometimes. I've found that I often have a hard time relaxing. I can't just sit down and let everything just unwind easily. This really is a struggle that I deal with. I want to be more easy going and just let things happen as they will without me having to control every situation around me. I have been working on it. Making conscious efforts to stop when I think I am going to far. Leaving work early without some things done. Delegating work to others so that I can do the essential things that only I can do around there. Coming home and sitting down...without something to do. The thing is that I love my job. I enjoy being there. I enjoy the friendship and camaraderie that we share there. The thing is, each day I learn something. As I get older I find that all of those little things don't matter. It is the friendships, the connections that we make with people is what matters and what makes our hearts happy more than anything. So maybe I stick around more now to be around that, I am immersed in a wonderful business. Wonderful people. Wonderful co-workers that appreciate and trust me and that makes me want to stick around more than I should. AND since I am there I may as well do some work.....haha! I'm never going to get out of this, am I?