Well that happened.

Thanks to everyone who has had me in their thoughts and prayers these past few weeks. I am really doing well. This past week I was on spring break and also able to go to Hocking Hills with some of my closest and bestest friends for a few days. We all had a great time, I enjoyed the relaxation of it all and that really was what I needed the most. I didn't go into it with any expectations other than to get alot of naps. Well I did that, mos def, I think I had 7 naps in the sunday evening thru wednesday morning that we were there. Good times I tell you! The best parts of the trip were all the good eatings. Oh man, we always eat so good, I think that I probably gained 5 lbs while there, blue stilton hamburgers, homemade pizza with dough kneaded by my two hands, & amazing omelets for breakfast. YUM! I got to slide down a set of totally iced up stairs in Old Mans Cave and scrape up my hands trying to slow myself down. I took off my shirt and layed out on the warm rocks at the rim of Upper Falls, a little awkward for everyone, but I think we all know they liked it;) It was all memorable and, as always, amazing to go yet another year and enjoy the beauty and slow pace of it all.

Don't read this, it's just my rantings...

So I have a few minutes to sit and blog after about a month of nonstop action. Actually I really need to just sit and write, I really don't have the time right now but this nagging feeling that I haven't put anything down in writing won't pass until I write something down. In my head if I can check off of the list just one more thing it brings down the stress meter. Know what I mean? So anyways, things are difficult in my life right now. I'm not trying to get any sympathy or "OH, I feel so bad for Laura" quotes, I have a great husband and awesome friends & family who have been so supportive of me thru everything going on that I couldn't ask for more. But there is only so much others can do for you, you have to figure the rest out on your own. Thru all that I am still pretty messed up. I told Sam that I am beyond the point of crying, and I never actually got to that part, I just kinda skipped it. Life is hard right now. I've wondered where the boiling point is and I think that I might just hit it soon if I don't change something. I'm not sleeping enough or eating enough. I'm not hungry, I actually feel sick to my stomach most of the time. I failed an exam in Pharmacology last week, I was sick and I missed a huge day of classes and I need to make them up. I don't care about getting motivated to even study when I should be 100% of the time when I am not at work. I do study but it doesn't sink in. I talked to my nursing professor and she said that she is scared for me, she can tell that I am not "focusing" as she put it. She could tell that my mind is racing in 100 different directions at the same time and I can't pin down any thoughts for long to really grasp them. I take pride in my multi-tasking abilities and I hate my deficient delegating skills cause they really suck. I am working on things getting easier at work, but I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel at school. I love the challenge still of keeping up this crazy schedule. I have had only 1 day off in more than a month. Spring break is next week and I need it, we are going to Hocking Hills. My Uncle Tom decided to kill himself on March 6th, which was his birthday, he thought that he took care of everything, but all he left was a big mess for my Dad to have to clean up and all I can think of is how I want to be there for Dad right now and help him thru this. Sorry, brain overload is a real killer. No one should ever try it.